My Art Is Killing Me by Amber Dawn Arsenal Pulp, 2020 Sex workers are at the center of discussions of public consumption: from questions of what labor and consumption would look like after capitalism, to whether a worker is selling their “self” in the market economy, sex workers are too often employed as an argumentative device. The mainstream public often wants a piece of us, but only as much as they can get rich off of us, take our stories, and twist them to serve their own agendas. In her new poetry book, My Art Is Killing Me (Arsenal Pulp, 2020), author Amber Dawn explores many of these themes as a sex worker writer. This particularly comes through in relation to being a sex worker writer in the world of academia, where too many people other than sex workers themselves seem to have a stake in the narration of our pain and struggle. Amber Dawn is the author of eight books, from fiction to memoir and poetry. As a sex worker writer myself, I have been following Amber Dawn's work and career for many years. Her work always speaks to me in some way or another. In her 2010 debut novel and Lambda Literary Awaard winner Sub Rosa (Arsenal Pulp), it was the vivid language and languid storytelling that made me feel like I was on an old sex working mama's porch, sipping tea and hearing stories. In Hustling Verse (Arsenal Pulp, 2019), I was catapulted back to all the hurts, longings, pains, ecstasy, success and experiences of being a sex worker - to the diversity of experiences that are possible within the sex industry. In her most recent work, I felt Amber Dawn holding my hand as we walked around a lake in an oasis in the middle of an urban desert. As a sex worker myself who has faced great losses for my art, who has been fired multiple for being a public and out sex worker writer, and who has felt journalists and academics profit off of my back, this book provides the visibility I needed. The themes are so much more complex than just sex work, and one absolutely does not have to be a current or former sex worker to enjoy, relate to and understand where the author is coming from. This is not a "niche" read, or for some radical faction of society. It's for everyone. Because sex workers rights are for everyone. The themes I actually found to be most linguistically delicious were those on the consumption of marginalized bodies by the more privileged. Amber Dawn asks us, numerous times, in this book "who is being consumed?" Apples, particularly poison apples a la Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs make their literary appearance numerous times as if to stand for the seduction that can come with giving in to the temptation to allow oneself to be consumed by the privileged. The seduction of falling into the fold, and giving people what they want, while possibly having nothing left for yourself in the process. LAURA: The title and cover of this book are very strong. Can you describe your intention behind this particular title and cover imagery? What are you trying to convey with these? AMBER DAWN: I'm extremely motivated by visual artists and often choose a visual artist and/or particular piece of artwork as an inspirational guide for my own writing in progress. My horror fiction anthology Fist Of The Spider Woman: Tales Of Fear And Queer Desire feautures an Julie Morstad illustration. The poetry anthology, co-edited with Justin Ducharme, Hustling Verse has original artwork by Exotic Cancer on the cover. For my first poetry collection, Where The Words End And Body Begins (2015) I was lucky enough to work with artist Rebecca Chaperon, who I had been fan-girling over for a long time. So for My Art Is Killing Me, I knew the artwork had to be bold and uncomfortable with a glimpse of irony: that's artist Jaik Puppyteeth in a nutshell. Puppyteeths death series, in particular, moves me for its playful irreverence. As for the books' title itself, it's not literally, of course as I'm still very much alive , however it isn't quite metaphor either. The entire collection of poems looks at abuses of power looks at abuses of power within literary education and publishing and how storytellers can have their own writing and truths turned against us. LAURA: Do you have a favorite poem of yours in My Art Is Killing Me or a poem that is particularly dear to you, and if so, what is it and why? AMBER DAWN: I don't have a favourite, however, the last poem in the book, the ringing bell, took about two years to write. I read early excerpts of it at poetry readings, other excerpts were accepted for publication, but none of these felt right. This poem covers a breath of narrative episodes, sort of pivotal moments in my healing, and, draft after draft, I just couldn't get it right. I needed editorial support; I worked with poet Sachiko Murakami , who's an excellent poet and editor. She helped me bring the ringing bell to its final draft. LAURA: Sex work and being a sex worker seems to be a major theme in your writing — especially with your two most recemt works, Hustling Verse and My Art Is Killing Me. What would you say is sex works' relationship to art in these two most recent books? AMBER DAWN: Currently, I'm interested in how sex workers are seen (or permitted to be seen) within public discourse, and how societal inability to truly humanize sex work speaks to larger assumptions, and even vilification, of sexuality, racialized and queer bodies , women, and others. And I'm interested in how sex work authored literatures might allow us to exist more wholly than the persuasive assumptions about us. I do see poetry, in particular, as a very fluid and nimble genre that can contain the complexities of sex workers stories. Personally, I don't have the type of mind that can compose compelling op-eds or media articles. Many sex workers I admire have written groundbreaking articles for VICE, Huffington Post, etc. That's certainly not where my strength lies. I need the versatility of poetry. Without poetry, I wouldn't have been able to write a damn thing about sex work. Visit Amber Dawn's Website Visit Arsenal Pulp's Website

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