"Everything I Know I Learned from Rachel Maddow" from burntdistrict and Verse Daily "Everything I Know I Learned from Kermit the Frog" from drafthorse "Everything I Know I Learned from Survivor" from drafthorse

If anything can have Soul, even Nirvana's "Stay Away," then voices don't have to die as long as they're reinvented. This is my religion, where bodies drift to dust but guitars are reincarnated as trumpets. Bob Dylan's too easy; Elvis too. I want Marilyn Manson as Christina Aguilera, and vice versa. I want to hear Eminem's mash-up of "I am Beautiful" and "The Beautiful People." Our heroes only stay dead if we forget them, if we let them. So, let the karaoke bars close their doors. Tonight, I’m wearing a guitar until I learn how to play "Rocky Mountain High" through metal and gospel fusion. Because we're only bound by our genres if we can't see a chord as a cocoon, metamorphosis as a way to decompose our old gods in our own images. These bodies are just husks and there's no karma better than hearing a vocal fold as it stretches across the decades. In a perfect world, we'd already know Marvin Gaye's interpretation of "Black Hole Sun." Maybe next time, with all those sold souls on stage, jamming together in their white robes. I'll be there, singing in the crowd, passing that rotten apple of knowledge around while Jimi Hendrix does "Imagine" as one long guitar solo. Bouncing on the cloudy floor, wearing nothing but a fig leaf. Bodysurfing until my wings are stripped of every last feather.